The One Behind My Gloomy Facade

Hyrul’s Pick :
For Real – Amel Larrieux
Let Me Hold u – Bow wow feat. Omarion


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As of lately I find myself hitting a wall…
despite keeping myself bz..
I still feel like an empty shell,
drifting in the ebbs and flows of time and space..














(Omegas in the sky...pretty)


I’ve nothing really to talk about..
nothing to look forward to..
no one to actually confide to..
no real purpose of waking-up to face the daily turmoils..

my frens are around me..
but my thoughts are usually elsewhere..
usually on her..
(man I’ve really fallen hard this time..)
despite knowing she’s currently unattached..
I still find myself not doing anything..
I’m afraid of jeopardizing something..
not actually sure what it is..
is it our delicate friendship?
or something more..?

besides she doesn’t think of me that way.. (i dont think so..)
and yet..
I can’t help being faithful to a non-existent relationship..
it's so stupid... (i've actually shrugged off others..)
I now feel as if the four walls,
I've built to protect myself are crumbling to pieces..
and I know I’ve nothing really impressive to give her..
I afraid even to promise love ..
becoz.. i'm not sure..
I don’t think anyone can be sure of the feeling..
(those who are lies)
and is love really ever enough?...

to me if any relationship I embrace now,
mustn’t be too playfull..
and i do realize that commitment...
is such a scary word…
some part of me is ready..
willing to try so hard not to dissapoint..
I’ve nvr cheated any of my lovers b4.. (honest)
and don’t plan to..

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Why...

why is this feeling taking so long to pass?
will it ever? I’m sure it will….
juz not soon….
it hurts when i see her cry..
it hurts when I see her with someone else..
and I bet I’ll probably facing the feeling again soon…

I’m not a big fan of my life rite now..
I wish I’m walking in somebody else’s shoes..
juz for a day…a moment in time..
I don’t regret meeting her..
she’s a beacon in my life..
and will be for quite some time..

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-End-

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p.s

I’m sorry for writing all these..
I needed to.. be patient with me..

Happy Bday Aiman, Hann, and Didie!!
u guys are the shite!!..

Merry Chrismas & Happy Holidays
(for those not on holidays, I feel for u..)